Motherhood & Standing Up to the Bullies

I am in a quandary. My son brought up the fact that some of his friends and fellow class mates are bullying another student. He tried to tell them to stop. He tried to make the kid feel included. But the hatefulness wouldn't stop. Because he has brought it up to me twice in as many days I know that he needs and wants help. I just can't figure out what help to give. If I go to the principal and he leaks that it came from me and thus my son, my son will be ridiculed. If I do nothing, have I let him down, have I let myself down. I want to be able to let them know anonymously. I know that I want to go in and talk to the principal and that I may be seen as weak because I don't want my son picked on. Its' a no-win situation.

My mother tells me that my son needs to tell the other kids to stop. He has. To tell them that the kid may hurt himself and they would be responsible. I think he has to a degree. That he should tell the teacher, that he should be loud about it and draw attention to the situation, that he needs to solve this problem. Lately I have been on my son's back about being more compassionate, he's doing so by sticking up for this kid. And now he's bringing it to my attention. Am I letting him down by following my mother's orders of leaving it alone and making my son deal with it. What if the kid hurt himself and I had done nothing but pushed my son to take care of it.

Two of the things that really upset me in this is my mother's desire to push and push and push me on how to raise my son, scratch that, I'm glad that she talked me out of storming into the principal's office. I'm glad that it made me search for another answer. So I guess I would be more angry at the parent who didn't try to find a way to solve the problem without having the guns turned on their own child.

I am more angry about the one student that I know about that was at the fore front of the bullying. This is a kid that my son thought of as a friend. I can tell that he doesn't now, that he sees him more for what he is, that he doesn't trust him. Good lesson to be learned. But this kid, he had to learn to be a bully somewhere, right? I know who his dad is, an officer of the law, and a loud mouth at ball games. Guess where the kid got it? I know his mom, a nice normal woman. I can't imagine that she would condone his actions. I could be wrong though, right? because we never really know what goes on behind closed doors.

I am happy that my son found out that his best friend is right in line with his morals since he was right beside my son defending the bullied kid. I am proud to know these boys. My son even pointed out that one of the loud-mouted-in-your-face-honest-to-a-fault girls wasn't involved in the bullying. She earned his respect. Respect, there's the word above all others. Showing each other respect simply because we are all humans, we all fight through this big old thing called life. So sad that so many children aren't taught it, nor are given it.

Through writing this I decided to check out how to send an anonymous email. Basically I set up a bogus account and emailed the school. I hope something is done. If I tell my son that I have done this, I will teach him how to set-up a false email account too so that he can find a way to protect others without having to stand on the firing squad line himself.