Motherhood & Yardwork

We spend a lot of time outside during the glorious days that the Lord blesses us with. It is so fulfilling to sink a sturdy spade into beautiful black dirt, inserting a tender new plant, and patting the soil back down around it. I love to clean up the green expanse of grass by gathering winter storm blown limbs, piling them into the burn pit, and letting my husband create a small fire. The sunshine smooths out all of my rough edges, soothes my shoulders, and brings a small smile to my face. I just wish my son enjoyed it as much as my husband and I do. It has already begun this season. He claims that he prefers dark dreary overcast days. If that's true, it's because less yard work gets done and therefore he is not required to be outside with us.

He didn't use to be this ill-tempered. He would joyfully play at his tree house which is really just a tree deck. He took pleasure in climbing up the nailed into the tree wood pieces that served as the ladder, bravely swinging to the ground from a rope dangling nearby. Occasionally he would ask me if he could do any chores for a few extra nickels and dimes. As I taught him how to pull his first weed, a maple tree from my flower beds, I showed him how not to pull just the leaves off of the plant, but to grab it at its' base to get the roots and all, he earned a dollar or tow a day. But those times have passed and he's grumpy anytime yard work is mentioned. Instead he inhabits a dark room with curtains pulled tight wiggling his digits on the X-Box and if not there then he can be found covered up on the bed with his Iphone watching someone Live Streaming.

This past weekend I let him go until about 2:00 pm on Saturday then "made" him come outside to dig plants. Made because I didn't frame the statement as a question since he's gotten so good at recognizing that he gets a choice if it's a question. I haven't quite got his father to figure that out yet. When he drug his feet out with us he didn't put appropriate shoes on, instead wearing his "school" shoes or change out of khakis which I'm not sure why he even had those on anyway. Having accepted that he would be responsible for cleaning himself up afterwards I persevered and kept my mouth shut letting him be petulant and sullen the entire time. I try to not let it bother me but it eventually gets on my nerves driving me to griping, lecturing, or sending him away which is his ultimate goal.

I let him go until about noon on Sunday, then went into the house expecting to find him on his X-box as I did the day before, but that day he was in bed, covered up watching his Iphone. For a few minutes I lectured him on coming outside on his own that he would still make money whether or not he did it on his own. It took him about twenty minutes to come out with us. Then he informed me that he hadn't eaten lunch yet and wouldn't be ready for another twenty minutes because that's how long it would take to fix his meal and eat it. I didn't yell. Maybe I should have. As usual I felt like he was trying to get out of helping in the yard by trying to make me angry.

Nonetheless we made it through and got some serious yard work done. An entire corner, probably 20' x 20' weeded and mulched. We got plants dug up and ready for relocation. We didn't argue and fight and he still made $10 each day. Perseverance and a whole lot of patience is my key to success. I hope that I am doing more for his eventual adulthood too.