Depression savages the soul. This morning it reared its ugly head, I knew it was coming. My body feels bloated and cranky. A good sign my stress level has risen too high.I think and hope that I have bounced back by taking a day completely to myself. Lots of extra sleep and some serious game play on my computer. To get through episodes of depression, anxiety and panic I ask myself "what could I do to make this better?" I try to find the trigger within myself so that I can answer that question. This morning it was that I didn't want to take a drive that I was asked to do, so I decided not to do it. Then realized it went deeper than that and I didn't want to go to work when they didn't really need me. I called in and begged off for the day. Maybe I just don't like Mondays. Maybe. One problem that came to mind was that I don't have any current smallish goals.Something as trivial as watching a new series on Netflix. Too many goals and I feel overwhelmed, too few and I get depressed. Ugh!
But the ugh gets louder and I'll tell you why. Mid-afternoon I remember ketones (acid pumping through the system due to lack of insulin and carbohydrate balance). How miserably tired I have been made me think that may be the issue. Nope. Finally I look up the side effects of a new blood pressure medicine and everything I've been feeling physically and emotionally is on there! UGH!!!
So I give to you a few smiles in the form of fat birds:
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